Utterly Me, Clarice Bean - Softcover

Lauren Child says that she does a lot of staring into space, which is how she thought up the character of Clarice Bean, now the spunky subject of four illustrated books. When Lauren Child was younger, she liked watching cartoons and overhearing conversations, and her ambition was to wear sunglasses on top of her head. She still likes to watch cartoons and overhear conversations, and she claims to have achieved her ambition. Lauren Child has written and illustrated numerous other books, including I WILL NEVER NOT EVER EAT A TOMATO, which won the Kate Greenaway Medal. The author-illustrator lives and works in London, England.

This is me, Clarice Bean.

I am not an only child, but I sometimes wish I was.

My family is six people, which is sometimes

too many. Not always, just sometimes.

My dad is mostly in an office on the phone, going, "I can't talk now — I'm up to my ears in it."

Mom is always gribbling about pants on the floor and shoes on the sofa. She says, "This house doesn't clean itself, you know.

"Who do you think does everything around here?

"Mr. Nobody?

"I don't get paid to pick up your smelly socks! If I did, I'd be a rich woman." etc. etc. non stop.

I am the third oldest, and I think it would have been a good idea if I was the youngest, too. I am not quite sure why my mom and dad wanted to have more children after me. They don't need another one and it's a shame because he is spoiling it for everyone else. He is called Minal Cricket and he tends to be utterly a nuisance. He is nonstop whining and causing other people to get themselves in trouble.

You might think it would be a relief to come to school, but if you do, then obviously you don't know some of the people in my class. Naming no names, i.e., Grace Grapello, what a showoff.

Sometimes I stare boredly into space, thinking utterly of nothing. This makes Mrs. Wilberton very irritated. I get on her nerves. I know this because she is always telling me I do.

To be honest, Mrs. Wilberton is not my favorite person on the planet of Earth. Unfortunately, I am from Earth and she is my teacher.

_______________
UTTERLY ME, CLARICE BEAN by Lauren Child. Copyright (c) 2003 by Lauren Child. Published by Candlewick Press, Inc., Cambridge, MA.